So begins a New Year, 2012. 2011 was a tough one for many in NZ, most notably Christchurch residents who experienced the pain of loss and destruction. None of us know what 2012 will hold. That is the thing about life, it is tenuous. As Isaiah says, āthe grass withers and the flower fade.ā We humans are always a heart-beat from lifeās cessation. New Years are great times to pause and reflect. While New Years resolutionās are perhaps not the answer, because they are legalistic and often serve to bring guilt, restating oneās core commitments at the beginning of a new year is not a bad thing.
Perhaps the core question is whether we are living for God? Have other things crept in, things that deflect us from service of the King? The really dangerous things are the idols of the more subtle variety. Usually, they are connected to our strengths. For example, one is a great thinkerāso often it is oneās own hubris and love of thought and oneās own ideas (or those of another venerated thinker) that can become snares. Paul knew this, stating that all frames of thought must be brought into subjection to Christ. Another danger is devotion itself, whereby one become so consumed with devotion to the divine, that one isolates oneself, and falls prey to the hubris of spiritual narcissism, an obsession with God alone. In actual fact, it is oneās subjugation to oneās own view of the divine, which is a snareāwe tend to be cynical and rejecting of otherās perspectives. Of course there is the danger of spiritual fatigue and despair. It comes to those in ministry who give it all for a sustained period of time. They find that they are not as effective as they long to be. The church doesnāt grow. Their ministries are not as effective as they want. People simply donāt take up the challenges and opportunity given. Then they become self-critical and fall into despair and disillusionment with themselves, their people, the world and even God. Of course, they are really demonstrating spiritual narcissism in another form. They are in fact arrogant, believing in their own self-importance as if they are the answer, or have the answer, if only others would listen. Things are always way more complex than this.
As I face the New Year, I donāt want to be a hyper-Calvinist who sees things as all Godās work, this would make God responsible for my failuresāthat is too easy an out, and the ultimate idolatry. But, I do want to defer to God more and more, to his sovereignty. I want him to empower me to be utterly devoted with all my beingāin devotion, holiness, service, love, faith, fidelity and commitment. Yet, I want then to live in contentment, accepting the outcome, knowing I did what I can do, and God did what he is doing. I trust he is in control, and moving things towards his purposes. It may not look that sensational, I may achieve little, but I can rest in the certainty he is at work. I want to be more God-reliant. I want to be more God-confident. I want to be more God-aware. I want to be more God-assured. That is, I know that he is doing his thing. That means I can rest and recreate as I live out his life for meāit is not all up to me!
What I donāt want though, is to fall into fatalism, quietism, retreatism with a ālet go, let Godā attitude. Rather, I want to hold on, and let God. It is easy when one tips the theological balance of sovereignty and freedom to fall prey to passivity. That I donāt want. On the other hand tipping the balance the other way, dethrones God, and enthrones self, in another example of spiritual narcissism. I donāt want that. I want to give it my all, but in Godās strength, that his glory will flow.
All else is skubala, excrement. It is the Paul of Philippians 3 I suppose that encapsulates this. He turns aside from prior glories, whether Jewish or otherwise, and focuses ever on the prize. He races on for the prize, a marathon runner, refusing to relent, struggling to the 42.2km mark. He knows it will bring suffering, something he embraces; even death to be āwith Christ,ā something that he knows will be better than life āin Christā in the present; but he runs on. That is the attitude. It is running even sometimes staggering, with a cross over the shoulder, with a towel in hand, gospel in mouth, love in heart, Spirit thrumming through oneās being, pursuing the one thing that really matters. And as one runs, it is āknowing Christ Jesus my Lordā with a righteousness not of oneās own through any law or āoughtā or āshouldā, but a righteousness from God through faithāfaith of/in Christ, and my faith, which fuses me to the faithful one, the object of faith. That is enough resolutions; to be one of the joint-imitators of Paul and others who reflect the Christ-pattern. So, whether it is my last year on earth, or there are many to come, my resolution for 2012 is the āone thingā of Paul, āto press on to win the prize,ā to be āfound in him,ā to āsomehow attain to the resurrection from the deadā when my saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, comes from heaven, and my body of humiliation becomes a body of gloryāthat is the life of the heavenly citizen, may it be so.
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