Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Reflection on Being Fifty – Old Man Saggy Fat Face

This was a song I wrote in 2002 which went down very well among the boys of St Kents when I was doing a short fill-in stint as a chaplain. It reflects on the absolute truth of what happens to men as they get old. Look into the face of an older man, you will understand. It sums up what it means to be fifty.

Old Man Saggy Fat Face (1)

Copyright: Mark Keown, 2002

Verse One

I want a nice six-pack, yeah washboard abs

But all I've got, are squashboard flabs

I want a small prostate, so I can pee like Niagara

But it's all gone bung, thank God for Viagara


 

Chorus

I've got…

Old man saggy fat face

The curse of the male race

I've got…

Old man saggy fat face

I'm drooping all over the place (2x)


 

Verse Two

I want a full head of hair, full of body and sway

But my toupees slipped back, and it's all going grey

I want rippling muscles, bulging mounds of steel

But it's turning to mush, I can't even turn the wheel


 

Chorus

I've got…

Old man saggy fat face

The curse of the male race

I've got…

Old man saggy fat face

I'm drooping all over the place


 

Bridge Spoken

And it's all because of Adam and Eve

And entropy plus gravity

Yeah who is there to save me?

Botox or plastic surgery?

Or I am stuck with the saggy fat-face

My body drooping all over the place

Expanding gut and greying hair

From mesomorph to the body of a pear

Yeah is there any hope for me?

Or will I droop for eternity?


 

Chorus

I've got…

Old man saggy fat face

The curse of the male race

I'm drooping all over the place (2x)


 

10 comments:

Andrew R SUNZ said...

Happy Birthday Mar. Trust it will be a good one, in particular, if the Crusaders win tonight.
Blessings and many more.

vistadenada said...

Laughed so hard at this. I would love to her the music to it. You are #1 on google searches for saggy old face.

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Carol Baker said...

Wow! That is definitely an apt song to describe all about getting old. Of course, sagging skin is always something that comes with age. People usually try to prevent aging. However, it is of course one’s choice if they want to do something about they're sagging skin, but one should always do it for all the right reasons. Don’t you agree? :)
Carol Baker