There is a lot of speculation about the future of SBW (Sonny Bill Williams). Some are saying he is going back to league to the Sydney Roosters. There is a thought he will go for a year, play the league World Cup, and return for the 2015 RWC. Others are saying he will stay with NZ rugby with a few extras, like some time in Japan, boxing, etc. There is even speculation that he will go to Aussie Rules. He is playing so brilliantly that I was hoping that he would stay in rugby; well until yesterday—you will realise why below.
Well, I can put everyone out of their misery. I have just got back from a bus trip into Auckland where I happened to sit beside SBW’s, aunty’s, husband’s, employee’s, brother’s, father’s friend—he told me he has the inside word on SBW. Because of his closeness to SBW, I know it is true. Here is the goss.Apparently, SBW has been courted by all of the above and more. However, aside from the other attractive offers above, some of which SBW too seriously, it has come down to three main possibilities.
First, Al Qaeda, knowing that he was a young Muslim, have courted him to give leadership to the organisation after most of their leadership have been wiped out in recent months. SBW is not into terrorism except on the rugby and league field, so turned down that option pretty quick.The second approach has come from a source close to City of God leader, and NZ’s 100th most trusted man, Destiny Bishop Brian Tamaki. SBW is being courted to convert and give leadership to the movement; and of course to tithe. SBW was not interested apparently, because BT ranks above him on the list and we can’t have that.
The final possibility, and the one which I can be first to announce publically and with the authority given by the close source above (who, like any good journalist, I won’t name no matter what is thrown at me—except money), is that he is indeed converting and is being fast-tracked into Presbyterian Ministry! As a Presbyterian, I am understandably rapped! Now, by fast-tracked, I mean, that is not being expected to the usual degree in theology, or learn Hebrew and Greek etc. However, it is likely he will be studying at Laidlaw College on the run. That’s great news for the College—so spread the word. The reason for the delay is that the actual church is yet to be confirmed; but I am sure it will be one of our biggest and churches, one with over 30 people with at least 5 under 60.Last night I ran this by my wife Emma who has a rather prominent role in the Presbyterian Church. I chose a weak moment as she was just dropping off to sleep. In that moment, I took her by surprise and grabbed her suddenly and yelled, “is it true SBW is converting and becoming a Presbyterian Minister?” She jumped up shocked, flipped her lid, and cried out, “what, ah, what are you doing!? Shush! Who told you that? Go to sleep you idiot!” She turned over without a word. She denied everything this morning. This confirms it—the source is correct.
So, the inside word on SBW is that he is not going back to league or staying with rugby, but he will be leading a Presbyterian Church near you soon. Watch this space.