As we launch into another year, 2016, I thought it would be good to make a few suggestions to a few people around the world in the hope that they may listen, that we could have a year of relative peace and prosperity on planet earth.
Dear Abu Bakr al-Bagdadi,
Please can you end this violent desire to take over the world? I admire your zeal, but sometimes zeal is misguided—and this is one of those times! Seeking world domination and the imposition of extreme Islamic ideals by violent force is stupid because you will fail and many will be killed as you try. People generally don’t respond to being told they have to follow a certain religion. Take it from us Christians, we have tried this, and it does not work! So, please give it up? Why not just lay down the weapons and say, ‘enough,’ end the conflict, urge your followers to do the same, and retire?
Dear Donald Trump,
As John McEnroe said, ‘you cannot be serious!’ Please just go back to your business and reality shows and leave global politics to others. You scare the living #@$& out of us all with your rhetoric. I am not sure if there is anyone in NZ that takes you seriously as a President. The things you are saying are ridiculous. So, please give it up now. I used the enjoy the Apprentice, so just have another series. We can handle your hair, but not your politics.
Dear America,
If Abu Bakr al-Bagdadi and Donald Trump don’t heed the above appeals, as I am sure they won’t, please do not vote for Trump. There are other trumpets to blow, none of whom are perfect, but at least seem to be reasonable. Unless you want apocalypse now (the final trump-et), and I know some of you do (please read your bibles carefully!), please vote for someone else as the Republican candidate. The world needs some seriously wise leadership at present. Is Trump really the way?
Dear the American Gun Lobby
Come on! Is it really the answer to arm more and more Americans to stop gun violence? Stop the weird logic and get real. The more people are armed, the more people will get shot. It’s kind of obvious to us in a place like NZ. But hey, that’s your constitutional right I suppose. Or is it a constitutional wrong? Anyway, even if you don’t listen to this, please don’t vote for trump, and don’t shoot cyclists even if we stuff up.
Dear Auckland Council,
Can you just can silly ideas like trains down the centre of Dominion Road? How about monorail running over the top of such roads and the motorways? The roads are ridiculous as they are, without trains added to the carnage. In a city with a ton of volcanoes and a harbour, which is ever expanding with single level dwellings (just go for a drive out west beyond Hobsonville, Riverhead, etc), the roads will soon be a car park (it is most days already). So, buses aren’t really a goer, nor should we go underground. How about something over the top? Just saying. Also, on the matter of single level dwellings ever spreading into the hinterland—can you start building some more apartment blocks around the place? Not leaky ones—been there, done that. But good solid ones? Again, just saying? Ah yes, and perhaps a new mayor? Again, just saying.
Dear Labour,
NZ needs a strong left and right. At the moment, John Key is having a field day. Nothing against Andrew Little, he seems a decent enough sort of bloke, but is he the best you have got to take on the National machine? They are in their third term and the wheels should be coming off. But for wheels to come off, they need to be under pressure from an articulate, intelligent, leadership, which picks the right issues, and with popular appeal, takes on the government. It feels like I am watching the All Blacks play Namibia, or Georgia, kind of a training run with little opposition. I don’t know who is out there, but please scour the country and find someone who can take on the Key, English, Joyce, Collins and co. And please can you get together with the Greens and put something coherent together rather than bash each other up? A divided opposition cannot win. And it has to make sense to the ‘ordinary NZer,’ whatever that is? Seems like at least Dotcom won’t be a factor, that will help.
Dear NZ Drivers,
Please take care around cyclists this coming year. Us cyclists will do our darndest to stay out of your way, stick to the left, not ride in huge bunches (except in races or maybe early on a Sunday morning). If you do your part as well, that would be great. We will try and do ours (sometimes we do forget, sorry). Give us heaps of room. Be patient with us, even if we suck, cause you have all the power in those beasts you drive. And please don’t drink and drive. Don’t throw bottles out windows and fill up the bike lanes with glass. Then we can drive to the left and not get a puncture. Slow down. Keep left. Be nice. No more road rage. And please don’t join Isis.
Dear Cyclists
Be nice to other vehicle drivers. Keep left. Don’t fill up the road. Don’t run red lights and do things drivers don’t expect. Stay safe.
Dear Christians,
Let’s all devote ourselves to stop moralizing, bemoaning the world around us, and give our guts to serve this nation. Let’s get out and be the volunteers that makes NZ tick. Let’s get involved in our schools and community groups not to impose ‘Christian law’ on the world, but to make this nation the best it can be by relentlessly serving out of love. Let’s be nice to atheists and others we disagree with—the beauty of being human is that we can choose our own path. Let’s give generously with our time and money to the things that really matter—things that bring justice and spread mercy. Let’s move past criticism and disunity, to love. Let’s make Jesus really proud of us and the way we treat each other and others, how we stand up for good and how we care for those in need. And let’s pray heaps. The world needs it bigtime.
Dear All
Let’s eat well this coming year. Let’s exercise heaps. Let’s work hard, but let’s have fun. Let’s laugh. Let’s lighten up, de-stress, and enjoy this awesome world. Let’s work hard toward reducing our carbon footprints. Let’s really contribute to society. Let’s pause and smell the roses, see the sunset, walk the beach, climb the hills, enjoy the wonderful world we live in. Let’s support each other when things are bad. Let’s rejoice when things rock. Let’s watch less TV, drink less booze, eat less junk food, and not waste our lives. Let’s make 2016 a brilliant year.
Whoever you are, have a bloody awesome 2016.
Dear Abu Bakr al-Bagdadi,
Please can you end this violent desire to take over the world? I admire your zeal, but sometimes zeal is misguided—and this is one of those times! Seeking world domination and the imposition of extreme Islamic ideals by violent force is stupid because you will fail and many will be killed as you try. People generally don’t respond to being told they have to follow a certain religion. Take it from us Christians, we have tried this, and it does not work! So, please give it up? Why not just lay down the weapons and say, ‘enough,’ end the conflict, urge your followers to do the same, and retire?
Dear Donald Trump,
As John McEnroe said, ‘you cannot be serious!’ Please just go back to your business and reality shows and leave global politics to others. You scare the living #@$& out of us all with your rhetoric. I am not sure if there is anyone in NZ that takes you seriously as a President. The things you are saying are ridiculous. So, please give it up now. I used the enjoy the Apprentice, so just have another series. We can handle your hair, but not your politics.
Dear America,
If Abu Bakr al-Bagdadi and Donald Trump don’t heed the above appeals, as I am sure they won’t, please do not vote for Trump. There are other trumpets to blow, none of whom are perfect, but at least seem to be reasonable. Unless you want apocalypse now (the final trump-et), and I know some of you do (please read your bibles carefully!), please vote for someone else as the Republican candidate. The world needs some seriously wise leadership at present. Is Trump really the way?
Dear the American Gun Lobby
Come on! Is it really the answer to arm more and more Americans to stop gun violence? Stop the weird logic and get real. The more people are armed, the more people will get shot. It’s kind of obvious to us in a place like NZ. But hey, that’s your constitutional right I suppose. Or is it a constitutional wrong? Anyway, even if you don’t listen to this, please don’t vote for trump, and don’t shoot cyclists even if we stuff up.
Dear Auckland Council,
Can you just can silly ideas like trains down the centre of Dominion Road? How about monorail running over the top of such roads and the motorways? The roads are ridiculous as they are, without trains added to the carnage. In a city with a ton of volcanoes and a harbour, which is ever expanding with single level dwellings (just go for a drive out west beyond Hobsonville, Riverhead, etc), the roads will soon be a car park (it is most days already). So, buses aren’t really a goer, nor should we go underground. How about something over the top? Just saying. Also, on the matter of single level dwellings ever spreading into the hinterland—can you start building some more apartment blocks around the place? Not leaky ones—been there, done that. But good solid ones? Again, just saying? Ah yes, and perhaps a new mayor? Again, just saying.
Dear Labour,
NZ needs a strong left and right. At the moment, John Key is having a field day. Nothing against Andrew Little, he seems a decent enough sort of bloke, but is he the best you have got to take on the National machine? They are in their third term and the wheels should be coming off. But for wheels to come off, they need to be under pressure from an articulate, intelligent, leadership, which picks the right issues, and with popular appeal, takes on the government. It feels like I am watching the All Blacks play Namibia, or Georgia, kind of a training run with little opposition. I don’t know who is out there, but please scour the country and find someone who can take on the Key, English, Joyce, Collins and co. And please can you get together with the Greens and put something coherent together rather than bash each other up? A divided opposition cannot win. And it has to make sense to the ‘ordinary NZer,’ whatever that is? Seems like at least Dotcom won’t be a factor, that will help.
Dear NZ Drivers,
Please take care around cyclists this coming year. Us cyclists will do our darndest to stay out of your way, stick to the left, not ride in huge bunches (except in races or maybe early on a Sunday morning). If you do your part as well, that would be great. We will try and do ours (sometimes we do forget, sorry). Give us heaps of room. Be patient with us, even if we suck, cause you have all the power in those beasts you drive. And please don’t drink and drive. Don’t throw bottles out windows and fill up the bike lanes with glass. Then we can drive to the left and not get a puncture. Slow down. Keep left. Be nice. No more road rage. And please don’t join Isis.
Dear Cyclists
Be nice to other vehicle drivers. Keep left. Don’t fill up the road. Don’t run red lights and do things drivers don’t expect. Stay safe.
Dear Christians,
Let’s all devote ourselves to stop moralizing, bemoaning the world around us, and give our guts to serve this nation. Let’s get out and be the volunteers that makes NZ tick. Let’s get involved in our schools and community groups not to impose ‘Christian law’ on the world, but to make this nation the best it can be by relentlessly serving out of love. Let’s be nice to atheists and others we disagree with—the beauty of being human is that we can choose our own path. Let’s give generously with our time and money to the things that really matter—things that bring justice and spread mercy. Let’s move past criticism and disunity, to love. Let’s make Jesus really proud of us and the way we treat each other and others, how we stand up for good and how we care for those in need. And let’s pray heaps. The world needs it bigtime.
Dear All
Let’s eat well this coming year. Let’s exercise heaps. Let’s work hard, but let’s have fun. Let’s laugh. Let’s lighten up, de-stress, and enjoy this awesome world. Let’s work hard toward reducing our carbon footprints. Let’s really contribute to society. Let’s pause and smell the roses, see the sunset, walk the beach, climb the hills, enjoy the wonderful world we live in. Let’s support each other when things are bad. Let’s rejoice when things rock. Let’s watch less TV, drink less booze, eat less junk food, and not waste our lives. Let’s make 2016 a brilliant year.
Whoever you are, have a bloody awesome 2016.
Comments
Fortunately the fundie right seems to be almost non-existent here and we mostly have a tolerant attitude WRT religion, politics and science.
Enjoy your holiday and whenever you go back to work at Laidlaw.
Keep writing your letters!
NZ little gun deaths.. but death lashings are common.
Canada has more guns than US per citizen. Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
NZ is completely defenseless. Less than ten small missiles would destroy our entire Air Force. If / when a fundamentalist walks through our street with a machine gun in a killing spree... sadly there is little to do but run. We have a good very short history after the Maori wars, but we are in a world where anything could happen rapidly. I know you don't agree, being a NT scholar, but in my OT+NT view, the word of God is pro self and national defence on behalf of his children.