It is two days since that harrowing moment when we realized we had lost the Cricket World Cup. Many NZers are still in grief. Ex-cricketers like myself are lost in a sea of deep anguish, tossed hither and thither by waves of anger, sorrow, pain, and turmoil. I was asked on Facebook to give hope. In effect, I can't give hope, because I've got nothing.
Yet, I suppose there are different ways to console ourselves.
1. Drink copious alcohol--helps in the short term, but bad for your skin.
2. Pray NZ votes for the legalization of dope and spend the next ten years stoned. Problem is, you might end up worse with paranoia. It would just lead to more conspiracy theories which will deepen our funk.
3. Take it out on others--make sure they too are not kiwis, or you may bite off more than you can chew, they may be angrier than you. Also, don't take it out on Ben Stokes, we know what he can do in a brawl.
4. Make up excuses like the umpires missed the overthrow moment should have been 5 not 6; they missed lbws, etc. The problem is that we should still have won because we had ample opportunities like when Trent stood on the boundary rope. Furthermore, we really can't do to anyone what we did to Wayne Barnes. Poor guy. We all make mistakes. BUT NOT THAT BIG WAYNE!
5. Pretend it didn't happen. But it did.
6. Pray for Ground Hog Day. But, who can really go through that again?
7. Pretend it was a tie and simply forget the boundary rule. We shared the game and tournament. Never mind England ended up above us in pool play and spanked us when we played them first time.
8. Take it out on the law-makers who came up with the dumb boundary rule. But we were part of the lawmaking and agreed to it. Dang.
9. Take heart that Stokes is a Kiwi. Well, he isn't, he lost that claim a while ago.
10. Take it out on Ben Stokes because he is a traitor. Problem is, a few kiwis in recent years originated elsewhere--anyone remember Grant Elliot, the Hairy Javelin.
11. Tell yourself "it's only a game." Problem is, no matter how many times I say it, I know I am wrong. It is bigger than life.
12. Give up supporting the Black Caps and start supporting England. Yeah right! Something about hell freezing over comes to mind. That would be almost as bad as supporting the Aussies.
13. Speaking of the Aussies, remind yourself that they did not make the final--hahahahahaha! That does soften the blow a little.
14. See a counselor. Problem is, I want to feel angry! I don't want to let it go!
15. Concede England were the better team and good on them. What! As John McEnroe would say, "You can't be serious!"
16. Have a victory parade after a draw! No way. Remember when the English rugby team did a victory lap at Twickenham. That went down well. Not!
Nah, there's nothing we can do. We have to take it. We have to live in terror that the same thing might happen in Japan in November; as Paul would say in Greek, mē genoito, "may it never be!" Or better, live in hope we avenge this defeat by an extra-time win or penalty goal shoot out win over England in the final!
Nah, we just have to suck it up and like Gallipoli where we got spanked by the Turks and make it a national day of mourning/celebration. So close, no cigar.
So, I have nothing .
Yet, I suppose there are different ways to console ourselves.
1. Drink copious alcohol--helps in the short term, but bad for your skin.
2. Pray NZ votes for the legalization of dope and spend the next ten years stoned. Problem is, you might end up worse with paranoia. It would just lead to more conspiracy theories which will deepen our funk.
3. Take it out on others--make sure they too are not kiwis, or you may bite off more than you can chew, they may be angrier than you. Also, don't take it out on Ben Stokes, we know what he can do in a brawl.
4. Make up excuses like the umpires missed the overthrow moment should have been 5 not 6; they missed lbws, etc. The problem is that we should still have won because we had ample opportunities like when Trent stood on the boundary rope. Furthermore, we really can't do to anyone what we did to Wayne Barnes. Poor guy. We all make mistakes. BUT NOT THAT BIG WAYNE!
5. Pretend it didn't happen. But it did.
6. Pray for Ground Hog Day. But, who can really go through that again?
7. Pretend it was a tie and simply forget the boundary rule. We shared the game and tournament. Never mind England ended up above us in pool play and spanked us when we played them first time.
8. Take it out on the law-makers who came up with the dumb boundary rule. But we were part of the lawmaking and agreed to it. Dang.
9. Take heart that Stokes is a Kiwi. Well, he isn't, he lost that claim a while ago.
10. Take it out on Ben Stokes because he is a traitor. Problem is, a few kiwis in recent years originated elsewhere--anyone remember Grant Elliot, the Hairy Javelin.
11. Tell yourself "it's only a game." Problem is, no matter how many times I say it, I know I am wrong. It is bigger than life.
12. Give up supporting the Black Caps and start supporting England. Yeah right! Something about hell freezing over comes to mind. That would be almost as bad as supporting the Aussies.
13. Speaking of the Aussies, remind yourself that they did not make the final--hahahahahaha! That does soften the blow a little.
14. See a counselor. Problem is, I want to feel angry! I don't want to let it go!
15. Concede England were the better team and good on them. What! As John McEnroe would say, "You can't be serious!"
16. Have a victory parade after a draw! No way. Remember when the English rugby team did a victory lap at Twickenham. That went down well. Not!
Nah, there's nothing we can do. We have to take it. We have to live in terror that the same thing might happen in Japan in November; as Paul would say in Greek, mē genoito, "may it never be!" Or better, live in hope we avenge this defeat by an extra-time win or penalty goal shoot out win over England in the final!
Nah, we just have to suck it up and like Gallipoli where we got spanked by the Turks and make it a national day of mourning/celebration. So close, no cigar.
So, I have nothing .
Comments